When Everything Is Changing, Try Saying "Yes" To The Messy Unknown

Creativity can shape our choices through the fog of uncertainty. And deliver some unexpected joy.

Check out the latest episode of my podcast Improv In Real Life, in which my guest Beth Boynton, RN and I discuss the power of “yes” to build connection, reduce stress, and bring more humanity to people with cognitive decline. And play games!

Suppose someone is offering you a drink. It’s one of your regular favorites. You say “yes, thank you” and proceed to enjoy it while watching a sunset. Wonderful.

Now, again, suppose someone is offering you a drink. It’s one of your regular favorites, but you act like this is an incredible surprise, a great gift. “Yes!! THANK YOU! Wow!” you say with great energy and enthusiasm. Studies show that even when the excitement is imaginary, this heightened emotional reaction activates a state of curiosity and interest in our brain. It is the ideal state of mind for learning and expansion.

“Yes” is one of the foundations of improv, and it accomplishes a few things at once. It conveys receptivity to, and acceptance of, what is happening right now. It brings us into a creative partnership with other people who agree to explore the ideas that emerge. It activates the state of mind that energizes improvisers to create characters and scenes without a plan, using only their imagination, a skill set for how to deploy it, and the willingness to risk.

Now let’s say that the “drink” is a change. An expected disruption to our lives, something that throws us into the messy unknown. We are not inclined to say “yes” until we understand it. But the improv approach is to say yes so that we can understand it. Something is on the other side of the “yes” that we can neither predict nor grasp based on what we already know. The improv mindset, skills, and willingness to risk create the necessary space to come to grips with it

Prolonged periods of extreme uncertainty take a toll on our well-being. In fluid, dynamic situations, we are unable to predict too far into the future. To stick with ways of thinking that were a match for a more predictable time will produce an abiding sense of disappointment and even despair. It is possible to practice saying “yes” to the present moment, even if the reality we face is complicated or painful.

Research showing that improv was effective at helping people “break set” with old mental patterns was published in Thinking Skills and Creativity. In “Working With(out) A Net: Improvisational Theater and Enhanced Well-Being” researcher Gordon Bermant discusses “a positive relationship between improv practice and well-being in other life domains.”

Creative risks are emotional, of course, and can bring up all sorts of feelings, from pockets of paralyzing self-doubt to indescribable joy. The trick is to be generous and compassionate to ourselves, as we would be toward a friend at an important turning point in life. This can give rise to an excitement about the risk itself. The outcome might turn out to be far different from what we started out to do, but this approach can produce moments and even hours that feel deeply rewarding, when a steady stream of small but unmistakable risks propels us along the path to the new.